Remus Lupin
by Fengcat
Summary: We are all familiar with the famous Harry Potter's story. Lets delve into the story before Harry's birth, before Lily and James were even friendly toward one another. Now lets focus on a certain Werewolf. Follow Remus Lupin throughout his years at Hogwarts. Read his Journal entries, and experience the past through the eyes of him, and his friends. Please comment. XD
1. Chapter 1

Remus finally came out of hiding in his room. It had been a week since the full moon, but he felt defeated. the cycle never ended. The night he'd transform painfully into a monster would pass, then three weeks reprieve, and the full moon was back. It was a vicious cycle, and Remus was stuck. The worst of it wasn't even the transforming. It was living with people who couldn't even look at you without flinching. It was living with people who feared you for something you couldn't control.

He had no sooner come out of his room unto the main room, when he caught his mother's eye and saw the fear behind the smile. Today was different though. Remus hadn't come out to see his mother. He had heard voices, and come to see to whom they belonged.

Thats when he saw the old man. He had white hair, and a beard grander than Remus had ever seen. When Remus looked at the old man's twinkling electric blue gaze, he saw no flicker of fear. "Ah," the old man said as Remus entered the room, "you must be Remus Lupin. Just the boy I was hoping to see."

Remus didn't know why, but he found himself backing away from the kind old man. "What do you want." His voice came out stronger than he would have liked, and he found himself voicing his fears. "Come to see what a real werewolf looks like, have you?" He accused.

The old man didn't respond, he just looked at remus with an air of patience that he had never encountered before.

Remus felt the tears coming, and blinked rapidly to help contain them. "Is the real thing as _horrifying_ as you thought?!" He spat the words at the old man with bitter force. Then he questions burst from him. "Why don't you speak?! Why don't you wince?! Why are you _here?!_"

The old man finally spoke, "I'm not afraid of you, Remus. I wish to invite you to my school." His voice was soft, gentle, and calm.

"School?" Remus felt his eyes dart from his mothers face to the old man's. **'They want to send me away...'** "A school for people like me?"

"Exactly." The old man replied. "For people like you, for witches and wizards your age."

Remus couldn't speak for a few moments, **' 'A school for witches and wizards' The old man had said, not a school for werewolves...'** He just stared at the old man. Then, "A school of magic. Like where my parent went?"

"As a matter of fact, it is exactly where your father and I went." Remus heard his mother speak for the first time since he'd entered. "Remus, meet Albus Dumbledore, the new headmaster at Hogwarts school. He has arranged for you to go to Hogwarts."

"You wouldn't want me there." Remus said at once. **'I could hurt someone...'**

"Why is that?" the headmaster asked mildly. "Are you a bad student?"

"No." Remus was caught off guard by this, Dumbledore. '**He acts as if I'm just another boy. Like I'm normal…'** "I'm a werewolf, hasn't anyone told you that. I'm dangerous."

"Ah, Remus." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled mysteriously. "I would never doubt for a second that you are dangerous. I have, however arranged for you to come to Hogwarts. It won't be risk free, mind you." He looked quite serious now. "If we aren't careful, you could seriously hurt one of the other students. I have complete faith that you will act responsibly, and so don't fear that will happen."

Remus felt the all too present panic strengthen, "I can't choose who is hurt!" His voice had grown high, panicky. "How are you going to keep them safe, he other students, how will you keep them safe from _me?!_"

Dumbledore explained the plan to Remus, and he listened carefully, weighing every word. It was a heavy plan, full of risk and could go seriously wrong, and yet he felt light with every word the headmaster uttered. It could work. He could live an almost normal life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lupin's Journals #1**

**Sept. 1**

Well I'm here! At Hogwarts! Thanks to the generous goodness of Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, and the hard work of the teachers involved on my behalf. The hat sorted me into Gryffindor, same house as my father. I write this from the boys common room. In here with me are three other boys, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. The boy, James, is very opinionated, he thinks I'm too quiet to be a Gryffindor. He told Peter that he was too small to be a Gryffindor, so I take no offence from his banter. James and Sirius seem to be friends already. I hope I make friends soon. I hope I'm not so strange, so… dangerous as to not deserve companionship.

_- Remus Lupin_

**Lupin's Journals #2**

**Oct. 1**

The first month has past without incident, though I have obtained scratches and a bit or two, some of them rather deep. Without other people to target, it seems the wolf turns on itself. The important thing is that no one seems to suspect a thing, Sirius and James didn't even comment on my absents. I reckon they didn't even noticed, I heard tell that they went out with Peter that night. James owns a really nice invisibility cloak. When I asked about the rumor **(I pretended to have gone to bed late and not to have seen them come in)**, they told me that they were just trying to navigate their way through Hogwarts so they don't get lost on the way to classes. Apparently Peter had already gotten lost multiple times that week, and James and Sirius were giving him extra practice. I suspect they were just breaking the rules to prove they could. They promised to take me with them the next time they went out. They seem really nice, and I hope that someday they might count me a friend.

_- Remus Lupin_

**Lupin's Journals #3**

**Dec. 1**

Third month of school. I'm getting good grades and working hard. I think Professor Dumbledore is pleased with me. At one point I remembering reading about the friendship between Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin. You wouldn't think that to see James and Severus going at each other, like a pair of stags fighting over a doe's attention. I only compare them thus because they are clearly fighting for the attention of Lily Evans, a pretty Gryffindor girl in our year. I thought to stop James hexing Severus, but must confess myself relieved when Lily Evans told James off, so I didn't have to. I'm started to think of Sirius, James, and Peter as my friends, and didn't want to cause tension by telling them off.

_- Remus Lupin_

**Lupin's Journals #4**

**Feb. 1**

I have realized that there are ups and downs to having friends. James commented on my absents this full moon. I need to come up with better excuses than, 'Professor Flitwick is giving me extra lessons.' I'm quite convinced that they doubted my honesty. The animosity between James and Severus just grows with the change of seasons. The air grows warmer as spring approaches, but the full moon doesn't change and I feel the scars its leaving on my body. Unfortunately I'm not the only one who notices them. Sirius has commented on them, followed by James asking about how I got them. I turned the questioning into a big joke by telling them that I was attacked by a random savage cat. They laughed and to my relief, left it alone. James and Sirius have been true to their word. They have taken me on many trips at night under James's invisibility cloak. We've been out many times in the past month, and I've been out with them no less than twenty times since they first took me with them on Oct. 5. Under James's cloak, I reckon we may never get caught. I haven't gone with them every time since they invited me. There's the moon cycle to think of, and besides that, if I were to go out every time they did, I'd never sleep.

_- Remus Lupin_


	3. Chapter 3

"Remus!" Remus heard his name and froze in horror. He had started to take _himself_ out to the shack, instead of having a teacher escort him. This meant there were no teachers hear to make an excuse for him. No teacher to turn James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew away from the horror that was about to happen. The horror that was Remus Lupin.

"You guys need to go back." Remus tried, but James interrupted him.

"You snuck out and didn't invite us. I thought we were friends. You could have at least asked for my cloak." He was already cutting it short to get the shack on time, and here was James. With no idea what was about to happen.

"You don't understand." Remus cried hurriedly, almost pleading now.

"What?" James's cheery manner turned serious. "We are friend after all. If we don't understand something. Please explain it to us."

"Yeah," Sirius chimed in now, "we haven't kept secrets from you."

Remus looked from Sirius to Peter, then to James, lost for words. Then the first pain began. Remus doubled over almost falling with a yell.

"Remus!" Sirius and James were at his side in a moment, and he felt dimly that Sirius was supporting him, keeping him from falling. James had an arm on his shoulder.

"What's wrong, Remus."

"Where does it hurt."

Remus gritted his teeth, and through the pain he struggled to speak. "You have to leave, find Professor Dumbledore. N-_OW_!"

The last word came out in a gasp of pain, but he had their attention. "Peter, go get Dumbledore." Sirius ordered. "James, help me with him." For Remus had just gone limp with pain and Sirius was losing his grip.

**...**

Peter ran through the halls in a panic looking for a teacher, any teacher. in this way he found himself colliding with a tall figure. He tumbled backward, and found himself looked up at the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

He heard himself panting. "It's… Ramus! He's… terribly ill. Told me… to find you."

He felt Professor Dumbledore lift him to his feet with a strong grip. "Is he alone?" Confused Peter just stared at Professor Dumbledore. "_This is important._" The Headmaster's voice was urgent. "_Is he alone?!_"

"N-no." Peter spluttered.

Professor Dumbledore started immediately off toward the door. "Head back to your common room." He ordered over his shoulder.

**...**

James saw the change first, before Sirius felt it. "Remus? Did you take a bad potion for hair growth?"

Sirius could hear the forced humor in James's voice and knew that his friend was scared. '**I was just joking with my theory about Remus's disappearances… Could he really be a…' **Then he felt his friends muscles swell under his clothes, and begin to tear through the seams of his shirt. He felt fur, and lost his grip of his friend. He fell back and felt James's hand gripping his arm, pulling him up.

"We have to go." James's voice shook, but his arm was steady, strong. "Get back to the castle. Run, and I'll be right behind you!"

Sirius, now on his feet, gripped James's wrist tightly and ran.

**...**

James made it to the front door and just as he reached it, the door swung open to reveal, Dumbledore. "He's…" He started to explain, but Dumbledore just shoved him and Sirius in through the front door, and shut it in their faces.

James stood there in shock with Sirius panted like a dog beside him. Finally, when he got his breath back enough to speak, Sirius muttered. "I'm sorry, James."

"No, I should be sorry." James interrupted him. "It was my idea to see what he was up to."

"Well whoever's fault it was, we should apologize to, Remus." Sirius said seriously. "He never meant us to learn this secret."

James thought that over. "He'll need us all the more now that we know. He _definitely_ needs an apology." '**And the **_**assurance**_ **that I'll stand by him no **_**matter what.**_' He thought. '**I won't let **_**anyone**_ **find out about this, Remus.'** He vowed silently.

Just then Dumbledore came back in. "He'll be fine now." James opened his mouth to speak, but Dumbledore gave him a warning look and said. "May I speak to you two in my office."

**...**

James sat in Dumbledore's office and started speaking at once. "He's a werewolf, isn't he!"

Dumbledore gave him a searching look. "You two are friends with young Remus Lupin?"

"Yes," James heard his voice join that of Sirius in the answer.

"How do you feel about him now?" Was Dumbledore's blunt question.

James looked incredulously at Dumbledore, then exchanged a look with Sirius. "He's still our friend. Did you think we would turn on him over a _problem_ like that?!"

He spoke with passion, and saw Dumbledore smile at it. "Then, to answer your question. Yes, he is a werewolf."

"I knew it!" Sirius exploded. "I knew it all along!"

Dumbledore fixed a serious stare on Sirius, then on James. "If you two have _any _concern for your friend you won't _talk_ about this to anyone."

James thought this through. He had already agreed to himself that he wouldn't let anyone know, but… "What about Peter, he's Remus's friend too."

"I will speak with Peter myself." Dumbledore said gravely. "_Now,_I do believe that you are already out of bound with the lateness of the hour." His eyes twinkled. "It's time you retired to your room."

**...**

**Lupin's Journals #5**

**May 1**

Term is just about over, the exams are coming up, and I'm spending most of my time studying. I haven't written in the recent months, but I had to write this month because they found out. James, Sirius, and Peter found out that I'm a werewolf, and what's more…

Sirius Black is writing in Remus's Diary! ^_^

It's not a diary It's a log!

James Potter agrees with Remus Lupin, and adds that he'd keep a log too if he had a furry little problem, just to keep the facts straight.

I still think it's a diary. XP

Peter wishes to add that he is just glad that they are all friends.

Would you stop taking my log from me and writing in it! I make an end of writing for the sake of privacy.

_- Remus Lupin_


End file.
